Nov. 14, 2025

Better Questions = Real Trust. Here’s Why!

Better Questions = Real Trust. Here’s Why!
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Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon iHeartRadio podcast player icon Podcast Addict podcast player icon Deezer podcast player icon
Season 1

Chris Tuff went from rock bottom to a life built on better questions, saved asks, and everyday courage.

We get into fun, practical tips for actually connecting—why “saving your asks” beats the LinkedIn spam, how a quick video message packs more punch than email, and how to turn small talk into something real.

Chris also shares his daily habits that keep him grounded and family routines that help teens survive the chaos. Packed with wild stories, laughs, and easy-to-try ideas, this episode shows how to lead, connect, and live with more joy.

Hit follow, share, and leave a review with your favorite takeaway.

00:00 - A Quirky Start And Hydrogen Water

02:15 - Meeting Chris Tuff And The “Millennial Whisperer”

04:00 - Rock Bottom, Recovery, And Writing The Book

07:45 - Parenting, Generations, And Craving Connection

11:10 - Save Your Asks And The Power Of Questions

15:20 - Pure Joy Stories And Building The Muscle

20:05 - Social Media, AI, And Real Human Skills

23:40 - Video Texting As A Breakthrough Tool

28:55 - Connection Hikes And Gratitude In Action

33:20 - Loneliness Of Speaking And Getting Back In The Huddle

36:20 - Health Rituals: Sauna, Cold Plunge, And Rucking

40:00 - Twins Marrying Twins And A Viral Engagement

45:10 - Family Trips, Pride, And Measured Success

50:00 - Rehab, Sobriety, And Redefining Impact

55:30 - Snapchat, Teens, And Setting Boundaries

01:00:10 - Surf Ranch Serendipity And Creative Collabs

01:04:20 - The Owl Moment And Oneness

01:07:20 - Closing Reflections And Thanks

WEBVTT

00:00:05.440 --> 00:00:06.879
Okay, so welcome to our podcast.

00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:13.439
This is a little bit different today because this podcast is a spin-off of our radio show.

00:00:23.199 --> 00:00:24.800
Well, what do you know about hydrogen water?

00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:26.960
I mean, all my friends walk around with that.

00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:28.160
The echo.

00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:28.719
Okay.

00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:29.839
And they always break.

00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:31.519
So get the exactly.

00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:32.000
Okay.

00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:35.520
So I saw this Gary Breca guy pushing the Echo water.

00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:36.799
So I bought one, it was like$400.

00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:38.719
I had it for like three weeks and it broke.

00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:39.920
I was so pissed.

00:00:40.159 --> 00:00:45.359
Then something happens with Gary Breca where he's not talking about it anymore and he's pushing these tablets.

00:00:45.679 --> 00:00:49.439
Put the tablets in the water away from the dissolve and it's hydrogen water.

00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:50.960
But I don't have that kind of time.

00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:55.280
And I find this company that is not in the United States.

00:00:55.439 --> 00:00:56.960
You cannot buy this anywhere.

00:00:57.119 --> 00:01:00.320
You cannot get this anywhere unless you're in Australia.

00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:03.039
This is the only place you get in Australia.

00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:06.640
So I meet them and they ship us a couple cases every once in a while.

00:01:06.719 --> 00:01:08.959
And I'm trying so hard to get them in the United States.

00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:09.599
Oh my God.

00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:12.079
So I was interviewing a guy, Craig DeMarco.

00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:15.680
He owns a couple, he owns a bunch of restaurants, but he has a couple markets.

00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:16.480
And he tried it.

00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:18.079
He goes, I got to get these in my markets.

00:01:18.239 --> 00:01:20.719
He calls the guy, his buddies are like the head of Sprouts.

00:01:20.879 --> 00:01:22.400
He's like, we got to get this in the Sprouts.

00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:24.719
I have a friend of mine that owns one stop nutrition.

00:01:24.799 --> 00:01:26.000
He's got 57 locations.

00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:26.879
I sent him a case.

00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:28.480
Like, you guys got to get these here.

00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:30.000
Because you just open it and drink.

00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:30.799
Pop one open.

00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:32.879
It's just it's hydrated water.

00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:33.920
You don't have to hit a button.

00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:36.000
Yeah, you don't have to hit a button.

00:01:36.079 --> 00:01:36.799
You don't have to do anything.

00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:38.560
That makes total sense.

00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:42.000
Right?

00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:43.760
You don't have to deal with the BS.

00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:44.879
You just crack it open and go.

00:01:44.959 --> 00:01:46.719
I drink one every morning before I go to work.

00:01:47.439 --> 00:01:48.319
That is awesome.

00:01:48.560 --> 00:01:49.040
Right?

00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:53.200
Well, yeah, they need a place closer in Australia.

00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:54.719
No, you can't drive.

00:01:54.959 --> 00:01:57.120
If you call them and say, Can I buy a case?

00:01:57.200 --> 00:01:58.239
They will not send you a case.

00:01:58.480 --> 00:01:58.879
I love it.

00:01:59.040 --> 00:01:59.840
It's the weirdest thing.

00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:00.400
I love it.

00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:05.200
So this is like a$7 water water after it's been imported through.

00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:05.840
That's funny.

00:02:05.920 --> 00:02:06.959
I have no idea how much it costs.

00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:07.840
You're probably right.

00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:11.360
Um, I met the person who's trying to bring it to the United States.

00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:12.719
That's how I got a hold of them.

00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:13.759
And it's awesome.

00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:15.439
Uh it's and it's it's you just crack it.

00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:16.319
It makes total sense.

00:02:16.479 --> 00:02:16.960
I know, right?

00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:18.960
It's and it's the new thing, or it's not the new thing.

00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:20.479
But nothing against Gary Breka.

00:02:20.560 --> 00:02:22.879
I don't want to piss him off, but you know.

00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:25.680
So Chris Tuff, thanks for coming on my podcast.

00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:27.280
I like interviewing you better.

00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:28.800
I that that was fun for me.

00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:33.599
Well, it was funny because we met at our friend Ian's uh mastermind called Of Course.

00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:34.240
Yep.

00:02:34.879 --> 00:02:45.280
And I was able to do a day and a half of that, and uh I don't know if it was three or four days, and I saw you, and you pretty much, in my opinion, were like the breakout star of the event.

00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:47.120
You just owned you owned the event.

00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:52.719
I remember seeing you talk to somebody, uh interview them on the at the event, and I was like, Who's that guy with the glasses?

00:02:52.879 --> 00:02:53.680
What's his story?

00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:56.400
And then since then I've got to pick your brain a little bit, talk to you.

00:02:56.479 --> 00:03:00.159
Then you interviewed me on the panel, yeah, and I was just blown away by your whole story.

00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:04.879
And then, you know, I had this rule on this podcast where I don't like to do a lot of research.

00:03:05.039 --> 00:03:06.960
I like to let it unfold as we talk.

00:03:07.199 --> 00:03:07.680
I love it.

00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:09.599
All right, but since my style, dude.

00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:14.319
But since, you know, I start following you on Instagram, and you know, I see you're the millennial whisperer.

00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:15.919
Let's get in, let's dive into that.

00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:17.360
Because how do you talk to the millennials?

00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:21.840
I mean, also, there's no worse way to be introduced than the millennials whisperer.

00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:22.159
Why?

00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:23.439
Isn't that what you named one of your books?

00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:26.000
My first book, yeah, it was my first book six years ago.

00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:34.479
That's kind of I mean, the backstory of it was I introduced myself um after I had I so go to my rock bottom.

00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:39.840
So I was crushing it in the advertising age, you know, world and you know you're part of some huge agency, right?

00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:40.719
Legendary agency.

00:03:41.039 --> 00:03:48.719
And then everything came tumbling down, and I was introducing myself seven months into recovery.

00:03:49.199 --> 00:04:03.599
I checked myself into a drug uh rehab for alcohol, crawled slowly out of it, and I went on a my first men's retreat, 13 CEO types, average age, kind of probably 55.

00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:12.560
And on a whim, as I was introducing myself around the fire, uh, I was like, uh, I don't really know what I do anymore, but I'm kind of like the millennial whisper.

00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:13.840
And it just came out.

00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:20.639
And then I shared my story and cried in every uh in front of everyone, and you know, all these guys who I didn't know, right?

00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:25.199
Their arms were crossed, they're like, man, these millennials suck.

00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:27.360
Another guy was like, You think millennials are bad?

00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:29.040
Wait till you see what's behind them.

00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:29.680
Yeah, right.

00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:38.800
And uh, and then I I remember there's one guy who goes, uh, yeah, anytime I bring any of my young people into my office, they start crying even before I open my mouth.

00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:40.240
And I was like, time out, guys.

00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:45.439
The same reason you guys are here for connection, that's what they crave.

00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:52.879
And I started talking about the difference of parenting and the influence of technology, and finally someone was like, Chris, you gotta write that book.

00:04:53.120 --> 00:05:04.480
So the seed was planted, and how I do most things, which is all or nothing, wrote it in four and a half months and published about eight months after that, and then it just took off.

00:05:04.720 --> 00:05:05.680
Are you a millennial?

00:05:05.839 --> 00:05:07.199
I am right on the cusp.

00:05:07.279 --> 00:05:09.439
So I'm 45, I'm 1980.

00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:12.000
Officially, millennials start at 81.

00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:18.319
But the whole premise of the book was that we all crave the same thing, which is connection.

00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:24.879
But what makes young people so different, and you see this with your kids, I see it in my daughters who are 15 and 13.

00:05:25.120 --> 00:05:31.600
The two greatest influences of what makes us different is one, how we were parented, right?

00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:34.399
So I was parented as an Xer, right?

00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:43.040
Or how most, you know, when I sat at the table, I sat across from my very British father, and it was Christopher, how are your grades?

00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:44.560
Were you thinking about going to school?

00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:46.480
Like it was you fell in line, right?

00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:48.879
He he said the bars here, you go above it, right?

00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:50.560
And you do what you're told.

00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:54.639
And you juxtapose that uh that's how most of us were raised, right?

00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:56.240
Well, what you said, your British father.

00:05:56.319 --> 00:05:57.839
So my father was from the Netherlands.

00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:00.399
Okay, and he was very much could it be a European influence?

00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:02.560
It was your time to talk.

00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:05.519
He would ask you questions, then it was my sister's time to talk.

00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:09.040
And if I interrupted, it'd be stop, let your sister finish.

00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:11.360
We had the meat and potatoes, then my mom would talk.

00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:13.759
It wasn't a round table, it wasn't chaos.

00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:20.639
I will say, like, it's only as of the last few years that my dad and I do the awkward hug, but like hugging, all of that's off limits.

00:06:20.720 --> 00:06:22.959
Like it was very British.

00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:23.920
It was very tough.

00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:27.519
Uh my father got looser in the hugging as time went on.

00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:27.759
Yeah.

00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:29.839
Because my mother was Mexican and she was very touchy.

00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:35.279
Was it always awkward you're hugging with your with my not for me, but I mean, when I look back, it was.

00:06:35.439 --> 00:06:39.040
But uh, as we got older, he got more lovey-dovey and more emotional.

00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:42.800
Um, so that's so you juxtapose that to how we raise our kids.

00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:48.079
People are playing beer pong out back, being like, oh yeah, you know, it's much more of a camaraderie and your friends, right?

00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:55.120
And so young people come into our organizations and they're expecting that same sort of relationship that they had with their parents.

00:06:55.199 --> 00:06:59.120
They're like, why is my boss not taking a vested interest in my life?

00:06:59.279 --> 00:07:10.639
And so that's what kind of started me going out and being like, actually, if you break it down, it's pretty simple, which at the core is this if you can start with connection, everything else falls into place.

00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:12.959
But that takes a concerted effort, right?

00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:20.480
You talk about lawyers, dentists, like that engineering mindset, it's that doesn't come naturally to them.

00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:23.360
They're gonna do things the same way that it's always been done.

00:07:23.600 --> 00:07:33.759
Whereas, you know, uh, you know, you look at anything in the service industry, hospitality, um, you know, airlines, that's the other like it comes a little bit more naturally.

00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:36.720
And so that's what kind of set me off.

00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:44.240
And as I was doing speeches for Nike and others, I was like, crap, like this is this is kind of I'm on big stages now.

00:07:44.319 --> 00:07:51.439
And I was still at the agency and I was using that platform to get new clients for the agency.

00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:56.639
And then I was like, okay, well, I gotta write another book, which was the same idea of connection outward.

00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:00.319
And the title of that's called Save Your Asks, A S K S.

00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:02.160
And I'm not here to promote, I'll give away.

00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:04.399
I know you're not here to I asked you to come here.

00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:06.399
Yeah, I'm not here to like it.

00:08:06.480 --> 00:08:07.519
It was very tough to get here.

00:08:07.600 --> 00:08:08.240
No pun intention.

00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:12.079
But yeah, and so and that's the whole idea that we got to save our asks.

00:08:12.240 --> 00:08:15.360
And the younger you get, you see this with salespeople.

00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:18.639
So many of them are what I call an ask hole, right?

00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:21.920
Like it's like three asks, you get this all the time, right?

00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:24.560
Where it's like, hey, John Jay, can you give me tickets to the whatever?

00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:27.040
And then the next week they ask for a connection to something.

00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:28.560
It's like, dude, come on, man.

00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:30.959
Like, seriously, two asks in a row?

00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:32.240
Dude, that's my son.

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We well, okay.

00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:35.840
So it doesn't apply to family.

00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:37.600
You just get like, welcome to life.

00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:40.559
You just you you're never gonna win on the other side of that one.

00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:52.240
But so that was a flip of the script, especially for sales and networking, that if we save our asks, if we can get to connection faster, that's where the beauty lives.

00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:55.440
And that to me is actually what I get most excited.

00:08:55.679 --> 00:09:01.919
Like, because I mean, on the culture and the millennial whisperer stuff, that's pretty straightforward, right?

00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:12.720
The the save your asks thing, what in all my research, what I found is that it really comes down to one key element, and those are the questions that you're asking people.

00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:25.840
And I think I spoke about this at the retreat, but I actually created a list of a hundred of the best questions called tough questions, TUFF questions, that gets you to connection faster.

00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:28.240
And that is a muscle we need to build.

00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:34.080
And what I tell people is that if you start doing it, it becomes that muscle, right?

00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:45.679
And every, I mean, almost every single day, it might be someone I'm in line getting coffee next to, or it's someone I'm trying to break into their network, I use tough questions to get there.

00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:50.879
And my favorite tough question is when was the last time you experienced pure joy?

00:09:51.039 --> 00:09:55.919
So let's just say you're at that business dinner table, you're gonna talk about business the whole time.

00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:59.039
We got to talk about the stuff that drives us as humans.

00:09:59.360 --> 00:10:02.559
And my favorite tough question to ask is when was the last time?

00:10:02.799 --> 00:10:03.600
So let's play it.

00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:08.480
When was the last time you experienced pure joy where you got like tears in your eyes, goosebumps?

00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:09.519
What when was the last time?

00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:10.320
What's the first thing?

00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:11.600
Tears in my eyes, goosebumps.

00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:13.360
Like where you just got so excited.

00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:22.000
It's like trying to it's actually every morning I have these little mantras, and one of them is you know, something wonderful is going to happen to me today.

00:10:22.159 --> 00:10:30.399
And then when I I have a I have a very strange routine at four in the morning, and one of them is when I get out of the hot tub, is I today I want to experience joy and happiness.

00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:33.840
So I feel that every day I hit that.

00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:39.279
And at the end of the night, I try to think about where in my day did I hit that.

00:10:39.519 --> 00:10:43.039
So, but when you say tears of joy, like pure joy.

00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:45.440
I mean, it could just be goosebump moment, right?

00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:48.559
Or it could be maybe it is every morning when you're doing your mantra.

00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:49.200
Do you get that?

00:10:49.679 --> 00:10:54.480
That's so if I was stemming at Starbucks, you would ask me that question, and I'd have to have the answer by the time I get to the boost.

00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:57.200
Like if I feel the energy, I go there.

00:10:57.279 --> 00:10:57.440
Right.

00:10:57.600 --> 00:10:58.879
And that's what people ask me a lot.

00:10:59.039 --> 00:11:01.519
Like, once you build that muscle, you can get there a lot faster.

00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:03.360
But you're also very much an extrovert.

00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:03.759
Yes.

00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:04.000
Right?

00:11:04.159 --> 00:11:09.519
So do introverts work with uh created this, and we can link out.

00:11:09.600 --> 00:11:11.759
I I actually made cards with them on.

00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:14.080
I was like, I'm losing so much money selling these cards.

00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:14.960
It was like$35.

00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:23.600
I haven't manufactured, so I have a PDF of the hunt, but it starts with the introverts intro, and it's 20 questions that get you.

00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:32.080
So it's as simple as um one of my tough questions for something like that is if you could do one thing all day, every day, what would that one thing be?

00:11:32.159 --> 00:11:34.080
You know, stuff like that that kind of gets it.

00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:36.159
Is that on your PDF?

00:11:36.399 --> 00:11:36.960
It's on my website.

00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:38.879
I'll we can link out to the PDF.

00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:40.799
I'm gonna go over it on the air on my radio show tomorrow.

00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:42.639
But you so but it is a muscle, right?

00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:45.360
And so let me just put it into a context of uh meeting.

00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:48.320
So I was I was speaking for a private equity conference, right?

00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:51.840
And private equity people are it's a tough crowd.

00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:54.000
They're like, what's this guy gonna teach me, right?

00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:59.519
And so it was the night before, and you know this, you're like, oh, I don't really want to deal with everyone, right?

00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:01.360
And but uh I you gotta show up.

00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:10.879
And so I show up the night before, I'm put at this one table, and it's all these pretty well-known, famous female seat like entrepreneurs.

00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:13.600
And so I'm sat with them and I'm like, okay, perfect.

00:12:13.679 --> 00:12:16.480
Like I'm at home around girls and and women, right?

00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:19.919
Because I have two girls and my wife, like, I'm I'm the only male in the house.

00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:21.039
So I'm like, okay, perfect.

00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:23.840
This is way better than any of the other tables.

00:12:24.159 --> 00:12:34.879
And so there was about eight of us at the table, and to my right, there was this woman that was very quiet because there were some more outspoken individuals.

00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:40.480
And as the meal kind of unfolded, she goes, Are you speaking tomorrow?

00:12:40.639 --> 00:12:42.240
It was the only thing she really chimed in and said.

00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:44.399
I was like, Yeah, uh, I'm the keynote.

00:12:44.480 --> 00:12:46.159
And she goes, Well, what are you speaking on?

00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:48.879
I said, Well, why don't I just show you?

00:12:49.120 --> 00:12:51.200
She goes, All right, how are you gonna do that?

00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:53.039
I go, Well, it's called tough questions.

00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:55.840
When was the last time you experienced pure joy?

00:12:56.320 --> 00:13:09.039
And with all any hesitation, I could see her eyes well up, and she tells me a story how on that Tuesday, it was like a Thursday, so two days prior, she said it was at seven in the morning.

00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:13.120
She started to talk through her son, who's now 12.

00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:21.840
When he was first born, he was epileptic for the first massively epileptic, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong, exactly what it was.

00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:29.919
And it got to a place where once they finally figured it out, he's now at 12 years old, non-verbal, and in a wheelchair.

00:13:30.240 --> 00:13:42.559
And, you know, so she's crying, telling me all about this, and then I'm I'm now like leaning into her, and I'm like, all right, so and now, so she tells this story how every morning she plays a game with him.

00:13:42.879 --> 00:13:54.879
And uh at this point, it was on that Tuesday, she had played this ball game, and she was like, it was that was my pure joy playing this game with my son, and we're both lit up, and it's my favorite part of the day.

00:13:55.120 --> 00:14:05.679
And so I'm like, oh my gosh, I've got my hands in there's this camp that I'm involved with called Hope Heals that I know that like we can send him to this awesome camp in the summer and is this and that.

00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:07.279
And then 45 minutes goes by.

00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:08.399
I'm like, what just happened?

00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:08.639
Right?

00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:14.799
We the rest of the whole the rest of the table disappeared to us as we were deep in this conversation.

00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:17.519
And I was like, crap, I gotta go to my mic check.

00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:18.320
I gotta go.

00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:20.080
And uh I said, What's your name?

00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:22.080
And she said, My name's Courtney.

00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:29.840
I said, Wait, before I go, Courtney, how many other people at you've been here for two days, how many other people have you told about your son?

00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:30.879
She goes, none.

00:14:31.039 --> 00:14:33.600
I go, exactly, because we're asking the wrong questions.

00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:38.960
And then now it's cool, now eight months later or whatever, we we text all the time.

00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:43.600
I'm actually looking to do some work with her as a partner on one of my projects.

00:14:43.679 --> 00:14:55.519
And it's like, once again, going back to the core, if we actually go to the right questions, because we spend, if you look at the spectrum of where most conversations lie, it's the 95% of comfort.

00:14:55.919 --> 00:14:56.720
Oh, yeah.

00:14:57.039 --> 00:15:01.919
The you know, the Georgia Bulldogs, or go uh, how about Vanderbilt, right?

00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:05.759
Sports or weather or where are you from or how are the kids, right?

00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:06.240
Right.

00:15:06.720 --> 00:15:11.039
And on either side of that spectrum, there's dreams and fears.

00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:17.440
And if we can actually get to this place of dreams and fears faster in conversation, that's where connection lives.

00:15:17.759 --> 00:15:22.879
That's uh that's powerful, but also I think you have to look at how you're talking to people, who these people are.

00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:25.039
Like you wouldn't do that in line at Starbucks.

00:15:25.200 --> 00:15:28.559
No, uh like I see you can get there fast, right?

00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:29.759
You can get there fast.

00:15:29.919 --> 00:15:31.440
But you make me want to jump around a couple things.

00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:35.840
For one, I my my my pure joy.

00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:42.320
I try to experience it every day, but I was just thinking about when you when you asked me that, it's it's it it's it's confusing me, but I have an answer.

00:15:42.879 --> 00:15:44.960
And that would be yesterday.

00:15:45.279 --> 00:16:02.720
My wife, who's sitting over there, was on Instagram, and it was our middle son's one-year anniversary with his girlfriend, and he posted a beautiful tribute to her, it's really nice, but the post that the girlfriend made about my son made my wife cry.

00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:07.519
And she was crying, and she was like, This is so beautiful how much she loves him.

00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:14.639
And me seeing her love a girl that loves our son brought me joy.

00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:15.679
You know, does that make sense?

00:16:15.919 --> 00:16:16.159
100%.

00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:16.559
Right.

00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:19.519
It wasn't a level of pure joy like what you were like, Courtney's.

00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:22.559
I mean, that's a whole different level of joy, but at that moment that was showing.

00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:23.519
Now, what about for you?

00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.440
When was the last time you experienced pure joy?

00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:41.200
So on Sunday, so my 15-year-old is grew up uh dyslexic, uh diagnosed at a young age, and the one thing that has been a constant where we invest a lot of money and time is horseback riding.

00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:52.240
It totally changed her life, and um you know, she's been doing awesome in school now, and you know, it wasn't that case even four years ago.

00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:58.480
And so she was at a horse show, and I knew at some point it was gonna click for her.

00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:05.839
And this past weekend my wife sent me a video of her getting first place, first place, and second place.

00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:13.519
And I do everything video text message, and so like with tears rolling down my face, I sent her a video text message how proud I am of her.

00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:36.400
And I mean, I get teared up talking about it because I mean, I think that to me is the the essence of what it is to not only support unconditionally, but to celebrate these wins, especially with our kids, you know, and to to watch the resilience and perseverance and how many times she legitimately got bucked off of that and she never stopped.

00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:38.000
I'm like, Finley, quit.

00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:39.279
Like, you're not good.

00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:40.799
Like, just stop, right?

00:17:40.880 --> 00:17:44.400
Like we at some point we gotta call, but she kept going and going and going.

00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:54.640
And and so for me to see that, and and I would actually go as far to say at least once, sometimes like 10 times a day, I I will get goosebumps.

00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:57.200
I call it like a resting joy rate.

00:17:57.359 --> 00:17:59.279
So I came up with this concept of a rest.

00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:04.640
Here's the pro so I'll go and do speeches or I'll be hanging out with Ian, and then people will pull me aside.

00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:06.880
They're like, because how do I get your energy and tempo?

00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:08.319
Yeah, you are a level 10, right?

00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:09.599
And it's like, yeah, it is.

00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:10.160
Yeah, you can't do it.

00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:14.880
And and I'm like, don't compare I what I say is don't compare your resting joy rate to mine.

00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:15.039
Right.

00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:18.880
Like I operate on a tempo that is high, and you know, I get down, right?

00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:24.480
But you shouldn't the name of the game is to try to increase our own resting joy rate.

00:18:24.559 --> 00:18:28.000
And for some people, it takes medication to get there, right?

00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:31.039
For some people, well, you can have joy and be mellow too.

00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:33.920
A hundred percent, right?

00:18:34.079 --> 00:18:35.200
Like my wife, right?

00:18:35.279 --> 00:18:44.160
My wife is my exact opposite, but a good barometer as to how joyful your life is is the answer to that question.

00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:46.400
When was the last time you experienced pure joy?

00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:52.559
I did this with a business engagement, and they were so taken aback because they just wanted to talk business.

00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:54.799
I'm like, dude, let's let's play a game.

00:18:55.039 --> 00:19:03.519
And I introduced them to it, and this woman said it was two years ago when she had taken her family on this amazing European vacation.

00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:09.279
I was like, listen, that's awesome, but you need more joyful moments in your life, right?

00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:09.680
Okay, good.

00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:10.400
That's what I was gonna say.

00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:13.440
And it doesn't have to be the European vacation, it could be something every day.

00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:19.839
Yeah, exactly.

00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:25.200
All we should be having these things all you know at multiple times through the day.

00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:34.559
And I think what the problem lies in the culprit being especially social media, is we're always comparing our insides to other people's outsides.

00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:35.200
Yeah, right.

00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:38.000
Which also I want to go back to something you said earlier to see you about social media.

00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:39.440
We're talking about connection, yeah.

00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:41.039
One of the first things we just talked about.

00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:42.720
And I think connection is so important.

00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:51.200
In fact, hosting a radio show, I think one of the things that radio does better than anything else is create human connection.

00:19:51.519 --> 00:19:57.200
So, how does all the examples you gave of connection how does that change with AI?

00:19:57.839 --> 00:19:58.240
Yeah.

00:19:58.559 --> 00:20:03.119
So I think, well, and we can apply this to almost anything, right?

00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:08.559
And I mean, you look at the salesperson that is overly utilizing AI, right?

00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:12.000
Where they can find who who their buyers are, right?

00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:16.640
They can send out these personalized even videos to all of these people.

00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:17.119
Right.

00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:23.599
And then when it comes time for going face to face, they have none of that human, they don't know how to interact with humans.

00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:24.400
No connection.

00:20:24.559 --> 00:20:26.079
There's no connection there, right?

00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:29.200
And so um, you know, this probably happened.

00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:38.240
I don't know if you're on LinkedIn, but I tell audiences and companies where someone will send you a friend uh LinkedIn request, you kind of research them a little bit.

00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:39.759
It's uh, it seems legit.

00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:46.000
And then all of a sudden you accept it, and nanoseconds later they're with an AI bot.

00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:50.240
Hey, my name is Rachel, and I'd like to give you a demo, and here's my countly.

00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:51.279
It's like, what just happened?

00:20:51.359 --> 00:20:52.720
I call that the pitch slap.

00:20:52.880 --> 00:21:02.400
Where it's like all of a sudden, like, whatever happened to the courtship, whatever happened to the connection, that by the way, our parents and grandparents did so well.

00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:17.279
And the younger we get, the less of that is in place, along with the fact that even when we were in high school, if we wanted to flirt with someone, we had to pick up a phone, we had to get through mom and dad, right?

00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:21.839
And so once we got through mom and dad, we would awkwardly talk to whoever that person was.

00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:26.480
And and that's an interpersonal muscle that we were able to build.

00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:29.680
That, you know, I watch my daughters and they're on Snapchat.

00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:30.720
They're doing it all here.

00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:32.240
It's it's crazy.

00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:36.880
And so what this I think is the most profound.

00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:49.599
This what we're doing here, what what I try to spend most of my day doing and why I hop on planes to come here to see you to hang out with Ian, I think there is so much power in that.

00:21:49.839 --> 00:22:09.200
And so AI, I think, is an enabler to make our to be a tool, but it it actually puts even more of an emphasis on the importance of not only this, but also continuing to exercise that muscle around developing face-to-face connection.

00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:10.720
Well, there's nothing like this.

00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:17.599
Giving an example, when I was in college, you know, I took a couple of radio classes, and one of the things they teach you is to know what you're gonna talk about.

00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:22.720
Don't pause, don't go, um, well, you know, that they don't want you to do that.

00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:25.440
In fact, we used to play games in radio called the um game.

00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:30.559
60 seconds to talk about your your eyeglasses, but you can't say um or uh, right?

00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:32.640
And you try to try to get better at it.

00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:37.119
Now all the research says they want that because it's real.

00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:39.680
It's I got crucifies, it's human connection.

00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:45.200
So as a radio host, they want you to pause and think and go, um, uh wait, where's that piece of paper at?

00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:46.319
Where's that, where are my notes?

00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:47.039
They want that.

00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:52.160
So what used to be a no-no is a must in human connection.

00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:52.400
Yeah.

00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:52.720
Right.

00:22:52.880 --> 00:22:57.920
And also, I think when you brought up um, well, it's like um thank you cards, thank you notes.

00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:04.640
It's uh the older, old generation, like my father used to write a thank you card all the time, postcards.

00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:06.000
That's gone nowadays.

00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:08.559
It's very rare to get a written thank you card, right?

00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:14.880
So much so now when I listen to motivational speakers now, they almost forget about it and they'll say, shoot an email.

00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:15.279
Yeah.

00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:16.720
You know, it was like shoot email.

00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:17.920
And now it's like shoot a text.

00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:20.720
And I saw you one time, you were talking about a video.

00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:24.799
The video text my whole arsenal, John Jay.

00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:29.200
It is by far the most lethal breakthrough.

00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:34.000
And I have hundreds of stories of how I've broken through.

00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:38.079
Like people, you you've got this spectrum of connection, all right?

00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:40.720
And the most powerful being this, right?

00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:42.720
And there are all these levels up to it.

00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:44.880
An email and a text, it's way over here.

00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:52.480
And then, you know, an audio text, like you sure that's like a step in the right direction, but all it's all native on your phone.

00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:57.839
You want to break through to someone, or you want to thank someone on your team, send a video text message.

00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:04.960
And oftentimes I'll talk to companies and organizations or even friends, and they're like, Chris, I am not set.

00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:06.319
Like, that is so awkward.

00:24:06.559 --> 00:24:07.119
Because it's forever.

00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:08.319
It's so, yeah, exactly.

00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:10.960
It is so you don't ever send a video text where you're pissed, do you?

00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:12.000
Uh listen to the phone.

00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:12.960
No, actually I don't.

00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:13.359
I haven't.

00:24:13.599 --> 00:24:14.400
You didn't turn that paper back.

00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:24.720
But I've broken, I mean, if someone's pissed at me when you send a video text message back with some optimism and excitement, it's kind of hard for them.

00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:27.839
Because what happens in email gets worse and worse and worse and worse.

00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:31.440
You can actually stop that with a video text message.

00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:38.000
It's really hard to process that because you have do you re-redo it, or is it one like do you make sure it's perfect?

00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:40.640
No, well, you it's also another one of those muscles.

00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:42.160
I I'm one take.

00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:44.079
Okay, it's uh it's uh it's almost fat.

00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:50.000
I mean, like like you're what when I'm texting with Ian or I've walked in on my wife sending you a video text.

00:24:50.160 --> 00:24:51.680
Yeah, you've gotten pretty good at it.

00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:53.680
Yeah, you've gotten pretty good at it.

00:24:53.920 --> 00:24:54.559
Yeah, yeah.

00:24:54.880 --> 00:25:00.160
And otherwise I would have responded back on the airplane, but I knew uh the video wouldn't go through.

00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:24.960
But one of the the things I do, especially for these stodgy executives that I'll do retreats with, um, is that part of these connection hikes um that I do with Ian is that we will take everyone and after they do the pairing up tough questions that they talk about to create that connection, I'll have everyone walk by themselves.

00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:40.799
And the question as they're walking for that five to ten minutes is that if your life was a road that forks to the right versus the left, think about the person that was the catalyst to help you go right versus left.

00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:56.480
Think about who that person is over the next 10 minutes as you walk by yourself and what you would say to that person and and really take the take in those emotions and and we're gonna meet at the you know, if we're on a hike at the top of the mountain.

00:25:56.880 --> 00:26:06.240
And everyone comes in and they start sharing these amazing really stories about these people that have had these profound influences on their life.

00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:12.960
And I'll then turn to them and say, How many of you have actually thanked that person for that influence that they had on you?

00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:16.480
And most everyone's like, I'm like, okay, so here's what we're gonna do.

00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:20.400
Everyone break up, get your cell phone, you're gonna send your first video text message.

00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:20.960
All right.

00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:22.880
And so these are people, they've never sent a video.

00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:27.359
I get goosebumps talking about it, and they've never sent a video text message before.

00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:32.240
And so people are awkwardly, it takes three or four takes, right, for them to get it.

00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:40.160
And they say, okay, for those that have the confidence to do this, then send it to that person right now.

00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:46.880
And it's the most beautiful five hours that unfolds for that duration as they hear back from that person.

00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:51.200
And in a lot of cases, they're sending their first video text message back.

00:26:51.519 --> 00:26:56.880
I remember on one of these, I I finally I was like, I need to thank my wife for being so awesome.

00:26:56.960 --> 00:27:03.039
And I, dude, I was slobbering, crying, and she couldn't even send a video text message back.

00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:04.160
But I'm like, what?

00:27:04.319 --> 00:27:06.400
Like, if we actually took more of a time out, right?

00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:06.799
And we're gonna be able to do that.

00:27:06.960 --> 00:27:10.880
But aren't you afraid someone could throw you under the bus and those videos go viral or something?

00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:12.240
Like, is it embarrassing?

00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:16.960
I I I've never seen a case where someone will take that.

00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:17.839
That's sacred to me.

00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:18.559
You know, I know.

00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:20.720
Oh my god, my husband is so beautiful.

00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:22.720
She goes, your wife says, I gotta send this to my mom.

00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:23.759
Look what he did, look what he said.

00:27:23.839 --> 00:27:28.480
And she goes, Oh my god, let me send it to my neighbor, and your neighbor goes, Oh my god, I wonder if BuzzFeed would like this.

00:27:28.640 --> 00:27:33.920
I haven't, yeah, I haven't seen that be maybe with you, but I haven't seen that ever be a concern.

00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:36.400
Well, that's it's that's a powerful exercise, though.

00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:41.039
It is so to thank the person that made the biggest impact on you and send them a video.

00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:41.920
And send them a video.

00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:43.039
And they'd be like, just what the hell?

00:27:43.119 --> 00:27:44.960
I'd have to cover up this big old blemish I have here.

00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:46.480
And I have to hold it like this.

00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:48.000
Hey man, thanks for everything you've done.

00:27:48.319 --> 00:27:49.359
There are ways around it.

00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:50.319
There are ways around it.

00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:56.000
So now you've written two books, like what do you what's your projects that are working on several different businesses, speaking engagements?

00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:01.920
What what is about a year and a half ago as I was on these stages and going around, I'm like, God, this is lonely, man.

00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:02.240
Right.

00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:05.920
And one thing, I'm an identical twin married to an identical twin, right?

00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:09.519
I I took I was hardwired for I can't I had a womb mate, right?

00:28:09.599 --> 00:28:11.680
Like I came into the world with someone right next to me.

00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:12.799
Is he just like you?

00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:18.160
Uh no, very different, very different now at this point in our life.

00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:21.519
But you know, me being an identical twin, married to an identical twin, right?

00:28:21.599 --> 00:28:26.160
It makes us our marriage is so easy because we always we're partners with others, right?

00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:36.720
Like so it's interesting just that social experiment to see how our twins have evolved because you become a new twin unit to a certain extent, right?

00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:42.880
But as I've been, you know, as I tried my way in sports, my wife was actually a pro soccer player.

00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:49.599
She and her twin were both pro soccer players, and I wasn't nearly as successful in my athletic endeavors.

00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:56.480
And you know, especially when I moved to the Southeast, I tried out for every sport and I thought I was good being in Boston in seventh grade, right?

00:28:56.640 --> 00:29:00.240
All-star team on baseball, didn't make the baseball team, went out for football.

00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:01.039
It was horrible.

00:29:01.119 --> 00:29:02.799
And I was like, okay, well, tennis, right?

00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:04.799
I'll practice every single day.

00:29:04.880 --> 00:29:06.079
I've I've played in the summers.

00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:10.480
I was ranked like 144 out of 145 people.

00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:12.000
And I'm like, okay, this isn't it.

00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:15.200
So I started the lacrosse team, and that's where I found my stride.

00:29:15.279 --> 00:29:18.720
I was like, oh, well, they can't beat me at this because they don't even know how to play the lacrosse.

00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:21.279
I started the lacrosse team and that became my jam.

00:29:21.359 --> 00:29:26.480
But one thing, as I look back on that experience, it was really the team element that got me so excited.

00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:34.640
And to a certain extent, as I've gone off and been doing, you know, traveling all over the world doing speeches, it's so lonely, right?

00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:36.160
I'm like high-fiving myself.

00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:38.079
I'm like, this sucks, right?

00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:39.920
I'm not, I'm away from my family.

00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:41.839
I just want to be in the huddle.

00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:42.319
Right.

00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:49.359
And so since that point, um, I started about a year and a half ago getting back in the huddle.

00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:56.079
And so I'm working on a couple big things that we'll be launching in January, February.

00:29:56.240 --> 00:29:59.680
Um, I'm Ian and I are are partnering up on.

00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:06.240
Getting more having more of an impact with of course, and that's why I'm in one of the reasons why I'm in Phoenix.

00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:20.400
And so yeah, I mean, uh, I'm getting back in the huddle and and being one thing I've realized, and Ian's been a huge influence on helping me realize some of these superpowers that I have, and then also these things I suck at.

00:30:20.559 --> 00:30:21.599
I'm a catalyst, right?

00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:26.880
I like being a catalyst for something and and lighting people up.

00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:32.720
And so being able to do that within a company, it doesn't matter what we do, right?

00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:38.160
It's so fun and and satisfying just to be with others, right?

00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:39.519
What do you suck at?

00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:43.519
Well, I suck at anything with Excel, like budgeting, oh that kind of stuff.

00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:49.839
Like, you know, uh, there's a lot like systems, processes, organizational charts, right?

00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:51.119
Like all that stuff.

00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:53.200
Uh, because I just want to do this all day.

00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:53.599
Right.

00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:55.440
Um, so what about as a parent?

00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:59.680
Um, have you taught your kids do they believe in your theories and your methods?

00:30:59.839 --> 00:31:01.680
Do they send video texts?

00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:03.680
Do they listen to you?

00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:18.799
That that you know, when you talk about uh extreme joy, um seeing my kids uh follow in certain things that I try to implement on them when they were little, as far as like health and fitness goes, because I was a chubby kid and I didn't want my kids to be chubby.

00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:21.599
So I had them working out as soon as they were born.

00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:27.599
And now they're all in their 20s and they all work out on their own, they're all in great shape, and I get such pride in that.

00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:29.440
You know, I'm so glad that they're healthy.

00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:31.839
They monitor their sleep, they wear sleep rings.

00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:38.720
One of my middle sons monitors sleep all the time, gets red light, gets he gets in the sauna, he gets in the cold plunge, he gets the daylight.

00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:41.039
So that kind of stuff makes me so happy.

00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:42.079
He measures his food.

00:31:42.319 --> 00:31:42.799
I love it.

00:31:43.039 --> 00:31:45.440
You know, that that kind of stuff as a dad brings me joy.

00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:45.839
Yeah.

00:31:46.079 --> 00:31:55.839
Uh, I mean, from I think they definitely see me as like a foreign species with the other parents and you know, with their teenage girls, right?

00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.359
15 and 13.

00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:02.880
And there was a well, there's been a period of time where they're like, Dad, please don't take me.

00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:07.839
And they'll like turn down the music because they're like, You bring enough attention, don't bring any attention to us.

00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:09.279
I'm like, come on, right?

00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:19.680
But one of the cool things that's happened recently is that I I keep a pack of my tough questions cards in the back, and especially my 13-year-old who's much more of an introvert.

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:30.240
Um, it's the one thing that breaks the ice, and she'll proactively, if especially if she has a friend that's coming over or whatever, and I'm driving them around, she'll say, Let's let's play tough questions, right?

00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:31.920
So I'm like, Okay, right.

00:32:32.079 --> 00:32:36.079
Like now it's starting to work, like it's starting to make a difference.

00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:39.680
And and they also see me as a very ridiculous human.

00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:48.079
They see some of the people I hang out with and the adventures I go on that are also kind of business, you know, going out to surf ranch, and they're like, Dad, you're ridiculous, right?

00:32:48.240 --> 00:32:54.559
Um, but one thing I emphasize to them is you know, this entrepreneurial journey is tough.

00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:58.079
Like I'm working hard, and it doesn't always look like work to them.

00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:14.480
Like my my image of of a almost perfect life is where passion profession and when when when all these things there's no lines between passion profession and and my family.

00:33:14.559 --> 00:33:16.319
It's it all comes down, right?

00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:19.759
Where it all kind of melds together.

00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:21.119
I don't want lines.

00:33:21.279 --> 00:33:23.519
I want it all to kind of flow in and out.

00:33:23.759 --> 00:33:27.599
And so with that, my work doesn't really look like work, right?

00:33:27.680 --> 00:33:32.319
I'm I do I meet with my investment bankers, I make them cold plunge sauna with me, right?

00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:35.039
And and these investment, and then or we'll ruck, right?

00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:36.480
And then do a cold plunge sauna.

00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:38.000
Like, what is happening?

00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:41.920
But now I live this life where it's like everything kind of flows into the next.

00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:48.160
Um, but I do emphasize to them one, work doesn't always look like work, but I'm working my butt off.

00:33:48.319 --> 00:33:50.799
And two, it's hard, right?

00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:58.559
Like it's up and down, and some days are I'm super hopeful, and others I'm like, oh, I don't know, like better kiss that horse.

00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:00.720
I don't know if it's gonna be here tomorrow, right?

00:34:00.960 --> 00:34:12.960
But I think that's an important thing because because especially with social media, there's this idea that everything's easy and it's not, and I think it's important that we communicate that versus hide it as parents.

00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:15.119
Social media kind of sucks.

00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:22.239
And there's some career, like if I wasn't in the job that I have right now, I don't think I would have if I was a banker, I wouldn't be on so I wouldn't be on Instagram.

00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:24.800
But I feel because of my job, I have to be.

00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:32.000
And it was very tough for me not that long ago to just stop paying attention to likes and shares and posts because you get so consumed in that, right?

00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:35.440
Well, radio, I mean, radio was kind of the first social media, if you think about it.

00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:42.559
If you break it down, but without obviously a lot of the liabilities and issues that social media has, right?

00:34:42.719 --> 00:34:46.639
I mean, you look at the the I mean, even satellite, right?

00:34:46.719 --> 00:34:54.000
Like, I mean, there's so many elements of radio where now you look at social media, it's like you guys were kind of the first influencers, right?

00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:54.719
100%.

00:34:55.199 --> 00:35:01.679
Like in fact, we were we as radio personalities, you know, we do endorsements for commercials, they started calling us influencers now.

00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:01.920
Yeah.

00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:04.719
And I'm like, wait a minute, I'm I'm doing an endorsement.

00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:06.000
No, you're an influencer.

00:35:06.079 --> 00:35:12.400
I'm like, okay, that's but you look at the impact, it is, it is, you have to be careful, right?

00:35:12.559 --> 00:35:21.119
You have to limit, um, especially with teenage daughters, um, the amount of time that they're in it, and you've got to push them into these environments.

00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:34.639
I will say the best thing that I've done in the last six months is um, you know, I think I shared this, but you know, I went through a very traumatic experience where I ended up running over my beloved eight-year-old dog.

00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:37.440
And it was you shared it with us at a seminar you were at.

00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:40.800
It was very fresh for you when you're emotional.

00:35:41.119 --> 00:35:45.920
Honestly, it was like the it was I mean, it's the most I've ever cried in a week.

00:35:46.079 --> 00:36:07.679
And it was, you know, in those low moments, you also see the best in your kids, and it was super special because my 15-year-old, whose friends just on Snapchat with Ian's son, reached out to Jedi and said, Hey, Jedi, will you have your dad call my dad?

00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:09.920
Because I think he's the only one that can help him right now.

00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:17.199
And of course, Ian with his beaming smile and mustache was that like light that I needed in that moment.

00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:17.840
Yeah, he did.

00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:34.960
Um but you so we go through that massively traumatic experience, and then um I took the family and we chartered a sailboat and went through the uh through the islands in Italy with no cell phone, no anything that was just connect, just reconnection.

00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:36.800
You made sure they didn't bring their cell phones?

00:36:36.960 --> 00:36:37.760
They didn't have service.

00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:38.800
Oh, okay, that's good.

00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:41.599
And it was the most epic seven days.

00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:46.559
That's great any of our, you know, probably it was the best vacation family vacation we've ever taken.

00:36:46.880 --> 00:36:55.760
That's the problem nowadays, is I think this generation, I think partly millennial, but mostly Gen Z and Gen Alpha, they don't know how to communicate.

00:36:55.920 --> 00:37:02.719
My son is 22 years old, he was at a party over the weekend that him and his friends threw, and he said he hated it because nobody was talking.

00:37:02.960 --> 00:37:04.400
Everyone's sitting there at a party.

00:37:04.639 --> 00:37:07.039
DJ's playing music and they're just on their phones.

00:37:07.199 --> 00:37:08.480
That's just isn't that weird?

00:37:08.880 --> 00:37:19.840
When you really think about like and as humans, we well, one thing we have to remind ourselves is that that's when they're snapping back and forth, like it's one thing doom scrolling or like TikTok, right?

00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:29.440
Like that's just nonsense, and we all do it a little bit, but you know, they're connecting when we used to be on the phone for like three hours a night on the landline, yeah.

00:37:29.519 --> 00:37:31.519
But you've been in your room doing it this right, right?

00:37:31.599 --> 00:37:36.159
But being at a party and and 15 people are standing there and no one's talking, right?

00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:36.320
Right.

00:37:36.400 --> 00:37:36.800
It's weird.

00:37:37.039 --> 00:37:37.280
Exactly.

00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:39.440
Like it's weird, but that's the way they deal with life right now.

00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:43.679
So that's why you have to do boat trips where you take away their cell phone or there is no connection.

00:37:43.920 --> 00:37:44.320
You have to.

00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:44.800
You have to.

00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:48.079
Um, you brought up rucking and sauna in cold plunging.

00:37:48.159 --> 00:37:49.920
What is your health regime?

00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:52.239
So because you look like you're in great shape.

00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:56.079
Yeah, I mean, for me, it's uh it's as much mental as anything.

00:37:56.159 --> 00:37:58.480
So I do sauna cold plunge every single day.

00:37:58.639 --> 00:38:00.079
So 15-2.

00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:10.639
Um uh between 190 and 200 in the sauna, 15 minutes, and then two minutes at 3435 in the cold plunge, and we can argue about the benefit.

00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:12.719
I just like making myself really uncomfortable.

00:38:12.960 --> 00:38:14.320
So I do that three times over.

00:38:14.400 --> 00:38:21.199
So I do that an hour, and I do a lot of meetings while I do you'll go 15 minutes in the sauna, two minutes in the cold plunge, and then go back in the sauna.

00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:22.079
Yeah, three times.

00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:22.800
Holy shit.

00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:23.519
Every single day.

00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:23.840
Okay.

00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:25.199
Uh, what kind of sauna do you have?

00:38:25.360 --> 00:38:29.599
Uh, I have a Sisu sauna, and then I have a Moroseco cold plunge.

00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:30.159
Wow.

00:38:30.400 --> 00:38:34.559
And that was after exhaustive research, and I love them both so much.

00:38:34.800 --> 00:38:37.360
I have a sauna, but it can only go to the 175.

00:38:37.599 --> 00:38:39.119
Yeah, dude, mine cranks.

00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:39.519
Wow.

00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:40.960
Is it the infrared too?

00:38:41.119 --> 00:38:42.320
Uh no, it's just it's the dry.

00:38:42.880 --> 00:38:43.119
Oh, okay.

00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:44.639
Mine's the dry finish one.

00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:50.719
But um, so like even this morning, I was coming here, I'd hop on a flight from Atlanta.

00:38:50.880 --> 00:38:54.639
Uh I woke up at 4 30 and I did that before hopping on the plane.

00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:54.960
Yeah, I'm not sure.

00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:56.480
For me, it's it's as much as I think.

00:38:56.639 --> 00:38:58.239
I'd sauna it in cold plunge before I came here.

00:38:58.320 --> 00:38:58.800
It's the best time.

00:38:59.039 --> 00:38:59.679
My second time today.

00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:00.159
It is.

00:39:00.239 --> 00:39:13.280
And I don't know, you know, it's both physical and for me, it's always a 40 to 70 percent increase in my mentality, meaning that if I'm anxious going in, it's like the anxiety is out the window.

00:39:13.599 --> 00:39:17.199
Wait, so 15 minutes sauna, two minutes cold plunge, and then another 15 minutes in the sauna.

00:39:17.519 --> 00:39:19.599
And then two minutes, and then 15, and then two.

00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:23.599
Wow, so don't you deplete your body of whatever it is that's in your body?

00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:24.639
I drink a lot of water.

00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:26.079
Electrolytes too?

00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:26.480
Yeah.

00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:31.119
Uh, so I'll do um the uh the little element.

00:39:31.679 --> 00:39:32.719
Yeah, yeah, okay, do that too.

00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:34.719
I'll do like one of those in the sauna.

00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:36.559
But I mean, I stick to what works.

00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:40.239
So and then I'll do and I mix it with meetings, right?

00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:55.199
So I'll hop and then I'll do I have a 30-pound ruck that I do a three-mile loop with, and then I lift with two other guys and a trainer three days a week, and then there's like the stuff that I'll add into it, like mountain biking or whatever.

00:39:55.679 --> 00:39:59.199
Do you ever do the sauna thing and and one of those at the same day?

00:40:00.239 --> 00:40:02.239
Every day I do I do sauna every single day.

00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:05.599
So your sauna's your sauna thing experience is about an hour long.

00:40:05.679 --> 00:40:06.000
Yep.

00:40:06.159 --> 00:40:07.760
And then you will also do a workout.

00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:08.320
Exactly.

00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:08.880
Every day.

00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:09.840
Holy smokes, yeah.

00:40:10.159 --> 00:40:10.559
Every day.

00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:12.320
And you watch what you eat or no?

00:40:12.559 --> 00:40:12.960
Yeah.

00:40:13.119 --> 00:40:16.639
I mean, I'm married to a professional athlete, so that helps things.

00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:21.280
Well, which brings you to this, like you you you brought up how she's an identical twin, you're an identical twin.

00:40:21.440 --> 00:40:25.599
But do you think that makes your marriage totally different where you can't give marriage advice?

00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:27.760
Because I think about No, I don't think we can.

00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:30.719
You can't, because I think it'd be a great book, Tough Marriage.

00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:31.519
Yeah, yeah.

00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:33.119
Or some sort of tough marriage.

00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:48.480
When you're in a great marriage, people look at you, you know, you hear when you're getting vulnerable, I hear people I'm close with complain about certain elements or frustrations within their marriages.

00:40:48.719 --> 00:40:52.639
And then they turn to me and I'm like, yeah, we don't really fight or argue, right?

00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:54.639
But I'm like, guys, you gotta understand.

00:40:55.119 --> 00:40:57.760
We were we always had a partner, right?

00:40:57.840 --> 00:41:05.679
So partnership from when you're born all the way until you know, from my wife, when I met her, she and her twin were still roommates.

00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:09.920
So you always had to compromise, you always knew how to share, you always knew how to that's it.

00:41:10.239 --> 00:41:12.559
Communicate all of that, right?

00:41:12.719 --> 00:41:16.960
And so, and then the social experiment gets super interesting in that.

00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:23.280
So I branded my whole wedding doublemint wedding.com, and it actually got us on the front page of the Wall Street Journal.

00:41:23.440 --> 00:41:24.400
It but it was ridiculous.

00:41:24.559 --> 00:41:34.639
So, like my save the date was a big doublemint piece of gum with Julie and Chris on it, and then I built a wedding website and I filmed our engagement that Good Morning America flew down.

00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:36.079
Yeah, it was ridiculous.

00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:37.760
It was total, it was totally ridiculous.

00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:40.719
And this was like at the very start of social media as I was really immersed.

00:41:41.039 --> 00:41:43.280
Were you already at the uh at the PR firm?

00:41:43.519 --> 00:41:54.239
Uh yeah, so I was at a ad firm that I was building, a digital ad firm called Moxie that uh they kind of challenged me to get a viral video right before viral, it was before YouTube.

00:41:54.719 --> 00:42:06.800
So I put a I filmed myself running down one of the roads, famous roads in Atlanta Valley Road, and I called a friend from MTV The Real World to set up cameras.

00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:14.639
And I had a mic on, and he was in the back of a car where I uh at the third telephone pole, I pretended to sprain my ankle.

00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:18.960
And my wife and I, you know, she's laughing at me, kind of making fun of me.

00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:20.880
I have a camcorder in the tree.

00:42:21.039 --> 00:42:23.039
A guy's literally in the back of his car.

00:42:23.119 --> 00:42:31.920
He's been in the back from MTV, he's been in there for like an hour and a half waiting for me to do this run to finally where I pretended to sprain my ankle.

00:42:32.079 --> 00:42:35.760
And she didn't know, and she had no idea, and she's like, Oh, you know, kind of making fun of me.

00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:39.760
And then I pop the question, and it was a scale of emotion in three and a half minutes.

00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:43.360
The internet, no one had ever filmed an engagement before.

00:42:43.599 --> 00:42:53.440
And so I put it on ChristopherTuff.com and I get a call from my it's just really for our twins, and I'm like, okay, let's see if I can give this a little nudge, right?

00:42:53.599 --> 00:42:57.679
Because I was challenged to get a viral video, which is a million views of a video.

00:42:57.840 --> 00:42:59.199
Fast forward to the end of the week.

00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:01.840
My server guy was called me and said, Mr.

00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:06.960
Tough, you're getting a hundred thousand views every hour, and it's doubling.

00:43:07.039 --> 00:43:08.559
Like, you got to pay for this bandwidth.

00:43:08.639 --> 00:43:09.119
What do you want to do?

00:43:09.199 --> 00:43:10.239
I was like, let her rip.

00:43:10.559 --> 00:43:15.599
Good morning, America ended up flying down and interviewing us for, and it just was ridiculous, right?

00:43:16.079 --> 00:43:18.800
And so we branded on top of that.

00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:26.480
I then did doublemintwedding.com, created a wedding website, and then we themed our whole wedding around doublement and being twins.

00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:40.960
And it was funny because when they were announcing the bride and groom, we sent in our twins, and so everyone was like, Oh, the bride and groom, and everyone went wild, and we actually duped the wedding because then we came in behind them and they're like, Well, oh my gosh, of course, right?

00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:42.320
You should re-release that stuff.

00:43:42.480 --> 00:43:42.880
I don't recall it.

00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:53.519
So it's funny, so Julie got so annoyed with how many people ended up watching it that I made it private on my Facebook, um, like my Facebook profile.

00:43:53.679 --> 00:43:58.639
But yeah, I need to I need to bring it back out, especially because your marriage and how long you guys have been married?

00:43:58.880 --> 00:43:59.840
Uh almost 20 years.

00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:00.239
Right.

00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:04.079
So it's a successful marriage, but that type of video people would love to see.

00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:05.840
Oh, yeah, totally, totally.

00:44:06.159 --> 00:44:09.760
But there is no research on twins marrying twins.

00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:20.719
So I did a speech recent like two weeks ago to a bunch of endodontists, and there was a guy that came up to me and they're like, I'm actually a twin, an identical twin married to an identical twin.

00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:23.679
So I think it actually makes a lot more sense.

00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:24.639
Are there negatives?

00:44:25.519 --> 00:44:26.960
Yeah, it's as a parent, right?

00:44:27.039 --> 00:44:35.440
Like, so I remember when my 15-year-old was going through tough stuff at school, she would come to us and like say, Yeah, I had to eat by myself at lunch.

00:44:35.599 --> 00:44:36.639
I look at Julie.

00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:37.679
We always had twins.

00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:38.239
Oh, right.

00:44:38.320 --> 00:44:38.559
Right?

00:44:38.639 --> 00:44:46.079
We always had someone next to us, and so that that lonely element of what all kids kind of go through at some point we never had, right?

00:44:46.159 --> 00:44:47.199
So we can't really relate to that.

00:44:47.519 --> 00:44:50.159
That's probably another reason when you go on speaking tours, you hate being alone.

00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:55.119
I hate being alone, and it's also why I'm now gonna build companies, right?

00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:57.199
Because I just want to be with others.

00:44:57.519 --> 00:44:58.800
What does your twin brother do?

00:44:59.039 --> 00:45:04.320
Uh so he got sober four years before I was and was a huge catalyst to me.

00:45:04.639 --> 00:45:12.559
And so after he got sober, how he really found recovery was doing swims.

00:45:12.719 --> 00:45:15.840
Now, you gotta understand he'd never been swimming before.

00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:22.079
He started doing triathlons, and um he found like he really liked the swimming component.

00:45:22.159 --> 00:45:28.079
And so he started to do, he did a one-mile swim, a three-mile swim, a 12-mile swim.

00:45:28.320 --> 00:45:38.079
And then it started to get ridiculous, where every summer he would do, he actually swam from Block Island to Newport, Rhode Island in the world's sharkiest waters, right?

00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:39.039
With like a Coast Card.

00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:43.599
And I was like, Ben, I called him and I'm like, Ben, this was like four or five years ago.

00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:45.519
I was like, this needs to be a documentary.

00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:48.639
Like, and at the time he was a teacher, a private school teacher.

00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:50.239
He's like, Chris, what am I gonna do?

00:45:50.320 --> 00:45:52.000
Like, I don't know how to do a documentary.

00:45:52.159 --> 00:46:03.760
That next week, I was at, I was speaking for uh an adventure camp group, and the other speaker was a Mount Everest climber, and there was a documentary crew following him.

00:46:03.840 --> 00:46:06.159
So I pulled the guy away uh that was filming.

00:46:06.239 --> 00:46:08.000
I was like, dude, do you do documentaries?

00:46:08.159 --> 00:46:09.440
He was like, Yeah, I do documentaries.

00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:10.880
I was like, so like anything good?

00:46:11.039 --> 00:46:13.840
He was like, Yeah, chasing corals, social network.

00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:16.800
I was like, I've seen both of those.

00:46:16.960 --> 00:46:19.119
Like, I got this idea from my twin brother.

00:46:19.280 --> 00:46:19.760
You in?

00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:21.199
He was like, Yeah, I'm in.

00:46:21.440 --> 00:46:29.039
So we decided, I decided, and I was like, what a great way to rebond me with my twin, and I'll help him with this documentary.

00:46:29.199 --> 00:46:43.039
And so for a year and a half, we produced a documentary that paralleled this 19-mile swim that he ended up doing from Providence, Rhode Island, all the way to Newport, Rhode Island in one fell swoop, 19 hours against the tide.

00:46:43.280 --> 00:46:44.639
Did he do it in one of those cages?

00:46:45.119 --> 00:46:52.880
No, so so uh no, he had a he had a thing on his ankle that he got from Australia that puts the electric currents.

00:46:52.960 --> 00:47:02.400
Okay, and then there was this spotter that if a shark came within, it looks like a banana on the radar, that if a shark came within 30 feet, they'd pull him out.

00:47:02.639 --> 00:47:02.960
Okay.

00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:06.079
But yeah, so I'm like, dude, this needs to be a documentary.

00:47:06.239 --> 00:47:12.559
So we produced a documentary, um, it won like seven international awards, uh called Swim Tough, T U F F.

00:47:12.880 --> 00:47:21.280
And it parallels the swim with and the struggles of the swim with the struggles of mental health and sobriety.

00:47:21.760 --> 00:47:25.599
Is is his um did he transfer his addiction?

00:47:25.840 --> 00:47:27.599
Like it seems like he got addicted to swimming.

00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:30.000
He found yeah, I think to a certain extent.

00:47:30.159 --> 00:47:38.000
I think he found peace in it all, and now he's uh he's getting his license to be a therapist, specifically in the addiction space.

00:47:38.400 --> 00:47:39.840
So is the documentary available?

00:47:40.239 --> 00:47:43.679
Yeah, yeah, it's on Amazon, swim tough, and it's about 45 minutes long.

00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:44.960
That's so freaking cool.

00:47:45.119 --> 00:47:46.000
Yeah, I got it.

00:47:46.719 --> 00:47:50.079
It was super beautiful how it brought us back together.

00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:53.280
Yeah you know, gave us a project because you know, he lives in the northeast.

00:47:53.440 --> 00:48:03.760
I'm all over the place doing and then he started becoming a speaker, and he still speaks to like schools and colleges around addiction, and then they'll are your parents still around, yes.

00:48:04.719 --> 00:48:06.400
Was it is it just you two, you two brothers?

00:48:06.559 --> 00:48:07.679
No, I'm the youngest of six.

00:48:07.840 --> 00:48:08.960
Oh wow, yeah.

00:48:09.119 --> 00:48:15.119
I was a double mistake because you know, like my brother was the mistake that I was like the add-on plus three.

00:48:15.519 --> 00:48:18.320
Are your other brothers and sisters in your line of work at all?

00:48:18.480 --> 00:48:22.239
Uh no, but all massive overachievers, like Ivy Leak.

00:48:22.559 --> 00:48:22.960
Wow.

00:48:23.119 --> 00:48:31.679
Um, and I think someone asked me recently, they're like, Chris, how much of like you I went to school at Vanderbilt, right?

00:48:31.840 --> 00:48:35.199
Stayed South, where all that like which was very different from my family.

00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:40.079
And I mean, I'm a pretty different, authentic human, right?

00:48:40.239 --> 00:48:53.039
And so someone was asking me yesterday, they're like, How much of you being in an environment from your family group made you this unique individual?

00:48:53.519 --> 00:48:55.440
And I said, and an identical twin.

00:48:55.599 --> 00:49:01.119
So I went to Vanderbilt and I was like, I'm gonna create my own identity, I'm gonna change my name from Chris to Topher.

00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:06.400
Like, we're so I tried, which by the way, I tried, and it was a month in.

00:49:06.480 --> 00:49:09.199
They're like, Chris, Topher's such a dumb name.

00:49:09.280 --> 00:49:12.400
And so I failed in that in that endeavor.

00:49:12.639 --> 00:49:24.800
But like, I then look at this, you know, route that I took way over here, and I think a lot of it is just, you know, in in that identity, struggle for identity and and finding it.

00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:26.960
But you wouldn't be this if you didn't do that.

00:49:27.199 --> 00:49:27.679
100%.

00:49:28.079 --> 00:49:28.400
Yeah.

00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:32.239
And and I think, you know, authenticity is so important to me.

00:49:32.800 --> 00:49:48.079
And and I think in this world, especially in the speaking world, one of my biggest frustrations is that you s you become friends or you know, you hang out with these people that are saying one thing and then they get off stage and they're doing the exact opposite.

00:49:48.320 --> 00:49:49.599
I'm like, screw this.

00:49:49.760 --> 00:49:53.360
Yeah, it's like I'll I'll do spe like I don't want to be that, yeah, right.

00:49:53.519 --> 00:49:58.400
Like, you know, I kind of ditched the podcast thing because I just I want to just make a difference.

00:49:58.639 --> 00:50:07.360
You'd be hands-on with yeah, and I did it for a little bit, and but it's it's a huge I don't want it to, I just want to make a difference with people, right?

00:50:07.519 --> 00:50:15.440
And and it was this huge flip that I had, which when you look at impact and our desire to have impact, you take it literally.

00:50:15.519 --> 00:50:21.679
I'm like, okay, I'm gonna write a book, and then I'm gonna do speeches, and then I'm gonna do, you know, social media, and I'm gonna make an impact.

00:50:21.840 --> 00:50:27.760
And the flip that I had is that my greatest impact is actually having impact and being a catalyst for others.

00:50:28.079 --> 00:50:32.320
And it's this impact multiplier, which at the end of the day ends up being way bigger.

00:50:32.480 --> 00:50:36.000
So I don't have to be the guy on stage, I don't have to be the guy behind the mic.

00:50:36.159 --> 00:50:45.280
Let me just be the guy at the center of the huddle, or sitting with you and getting you fired up and being that ignition and source to help you kind of.

00:50:45.679 --> 00:50:46.800
Well, this had to come from somewhere.

00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:47.840
Was your father like this?

00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:48.800
Your mother like this?

00:50:49.119 --> 00:50:52.719
Dude, no, really dad is like the most British, proper.

00:50:53.039 --> 00:50:56.400
He's both my parents were sent to boarding school at age seven.

00:50:56.639 --> 00:50:57.039
Dang.

00:50:57.360 --> 00:51:02.480
So my dad went to Eton College with you know, like very proper top hat, tail coat.

00:51:02.719 --> 00:51:04.079
Yeah, like Prince Charles type of stuff.

00:51:04.239 --> 00:51:05.119
Yeah, exactly.

00:51:05.280 --> 00:51:06.719
And then, no, yeah.

00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:12.639
So it's funny, people I I truly believe that actually when I went to rehab, right?

00:51:12.719 --> 00:51:17.519
So I went to rehab to the same place that my brother went to rehab, Silver Hill Hospital.

00:51:17.760 --> 00:51:21.840
And it was my brother that when I was having my rock bottom moment, he was like, Screw this, Chris.

00:51:21.920 --> 00:51:28.159
You're drinking too, you need to take the same route that I took, which is go to this one rehab up in Connecticut.

00:51:28.320 --> 00:51:45.679
So I was on my third day of vacation, all right, down in our favorite place, the Caribbean, where I, on a seven-day vacation, outed myself, turned to my wife with tears rolling down my face, and said, I'm gonna do what Ben told me, and I'm flying to New York, and then he's gonna drive me to this rehab.

00:51:46.079 --> 00:51:48.960
So I get to this, I'm like, what the hell just happened, right?

00:51:49.119 --> 00:51:50.320
I I gotta do this.

00:51:50.480 --> 00:51:52.719
I I have to see this all the way through.

00:51:52.960 --> 00:52:03.840
And I was at in rehab for 35 days about because I got stuck in the interim of Christmas and New Year's before I could actually go and do the program.

00:52:04.079 --> 00:52:08.320
And uh it was on day like 12 that this doctor came in.

00:52:08.400 --> 00:52:12.239
He's one of the leading doctors in addiction and mental health.

00:52:12.400 --> 00:52:20.000
And he had these bright, he was so excited because I'm an identical twin and he was is my brother's doctor.

00:52:20.159 --> 00:52:22.719
And he was like, like, great social experiment.

00:52:22.800 --> 00:52:25.920
I can compare your your blood types and whatever.

00:52:26.159 --> 00:52:34.320
And he was astonished as he took the blood and did all these analyses, and he was like, You guys are actually not alike at all.

00:52:34.559 --> 00:52:36.880
So much so that you're almost opposites.

00:52:37.039 --> 00:52:48.079
And Chris, your low point is like from a biological standpoint, if you look at the elements of your blood that we're looking at, your low point is like most people's midpoint.

00:52:48.320 --> 00:52:50.400
So he goes, Chris, I'm gonna tell you two things.

00:52:50.639 --> 00:52:56.320
One, you don't need to drink or do drugs because you operate on just don't do it, it's stupid.

00:52:56.559 --> 00:53:02.320
And then two, go give back to the world because you're one of these crazy you were you were given a gift.

00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:06.000
And that's also the whole like resting joy rate.

00:53:06.079 --> 00:53:10.159
Like I have this crazy, like I was God gave me this thing, right?

00:53:10.239 --> 00:53:13.039
And for some people, it's gonna take antidepressants, right?

00:53:13.119 --> 00:53:21.599
Like, so don't compare your, you know, that's why I say don't compare your resting joy rate to others, but I truly do take it as a responsibility to make a difference in the world.

00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:24.000
Well, let me ask you, has your father seen you speak?

00:53:24.239 --> 00:53:24.800
Yeah, he has.

00:53:25.039 --> 00:53:27.519
Has your father told you how proud he is of you, of your conversation?

00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:28.480
So he's British.

00:53:28.639 --> 00:53:29.280
Right, right, right.

00:53:29.440 --> 00:53:47.199
And so it comes out, so my dad has this amazing tradition, and I think this is a great thing for all parents if they can do it to do, is where after his retirement, he turned to all six children with you know, in a very proper like dining room, you know, he uh up at his house in Rhode Island.

00:53:47.280 --> 00:53:58.400
He was like, So, everyone, I've got a thing in my retirement, and what I want you to do is every single one of you is gonna take a trip with me, and it's gonna be between three and four days.

00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:00.239
You choose where we're going.

00:54:00.400 --> 00:54:05.280
It needs to be he was an international CEO turnaround guy, so he's been to every place possible.

00:54:05.440 --> 00:54:14.000
He goes, So you will choose where you go, and it needs to be a place neither one of us, a country neither one of us has never been to, under one condition.

00:54:14.159 --> 00:54:26.400
I will pay for it all, you plan it, but upon returning, you have to give a detailed recollection, an email to this immediate family about what transpired.

00:54:26.559 --> 00:54:32.960
And I will send an email at that same time of my recollection of how it transpired.

00:54:33.119 --> 00:54:37.679
And so my oldest brother was the first one, he's Jeff, um, 10 years older than me.

00:54:37.840 --> 00:54:38.880
They went to Cuba, right?

00:54:38.960 --> 00:54:43.199
And then my brother went to Iceland, and then it came time for me to choose.

00:54:44.000 --> 00:55:00.079
And I had just my first book had just been um translated into Portuguese, and so I did research, and actually in Lisbon is the oldest uh bookstore in the world, in Lisbon, and they were carrying my book, and I was like, Oh, I'm gonna go there.

00:55:00.159 --> 00:55:09.199
We're gonna go to Lisbon, and it was super beautiful because afterwards, in that letter to everyone, I could hear in him like how proud he was.

00:55:09.519 --> 00:55:10.719
He saw the book in the bookstore.

00:55:10.960 --> 00:55:14.159
Well, and and actually, our guide knew who I was.

00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:21.599
It was a British guy, he knew who I was because of my just postings and social and whatever.

00:55:21.840 --> 00:55:24.719
And he was like, Are you are you that guy that did the blank blank?

00:55:25.199 --> 00:55:27.760
I oh, I got I got a tattoo live on the Burt show.

00:55:27.840 --> 00:55:33.519
He somehow he'd seen me getting while I talked about that's what I did on release date.

00:55:33.679 --> 00:55:39.039
I got a tattoo all about my book while I talked about the book live on Burt's show.

00:55:39.199 --> 00:55:42.079
And it was a horrible interview because I could hardly talk.

00:55:42.320 --> 00:55:49.599
Because actually, if you look at the I needed a PR play, and Bert's like, seriously, Chris, you know, my audience isn't gonna read your book.

00:55:49.760 --> 00:56:01.599
I was like, Yeah, but if you if you look at it's gonna be a great PR play, and if you look at the statistics, the greatest difference between millennials and boomers is actually their acceptance of tattoos.

00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:05.840
And so I said, I'm gonna get a tattoo all about the book while you interview me for the book.

00:56:05.920 --> 00:56:08.800
And that's what the guy in Portugal ended up seeing.

00:56:09.039 --> 00:56:15.519
And my dad, in the letter to the rest of my family, it was like I could tell that he was proud of kind of what I've done.

00:56:15.760 --> 00:56:19.119
So when you go on a trip with your dad, do you guys share a room?

00:56:19.440 --> 00:56:22.159
No, no, absolutely not.

00:56:22.559 --> 00:56:25.119
No, no, so it's not like you're doing it.

00:56:26.239 --> 00:56:28.960
But it's wake up, have breakfast, wake up, go to lunch, walk around.

00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:32.960
Yeah, so I I uh the kid plans the whole vacation.

00:56:33.119 --> 00:56:33.440
Right.

00:56:33.599 --> 00:56:38.159
And also, like, I mean, for those listening or watching, like what a great thing to do with your adult kids.

00:56:38.239 --> 00:56:38.480
Yeah, yeah.

00:56:38.639 --> 00:56:43.840
And I think it's something I was telling my wife recently, Julie, I want to do this like every two years.

00:56:43.920 --> 00:56:46.239
And you you can't bring your kid like that person.

00:56:46.480 --> 00:56:48.800
I'm not gonna, you're not allowed to bring your kids or your spouse.

00:56:48.880 --> 00:56:50.639
It's like truly bonding sessions, right?

00:56:50.719 --> 00:56:52.719
No, that's something else, but it's a four-day minimum.

00:56:52.880 --> 00:56:55.760
It's like around three to four days, so you can't go to like Australia.

00:56:56.400 --> 00:56:56.559
Right.

00:56:56.800 --> 00:56:59.840
How wild is that that your mom and dad both went to boarding school at eight?

00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:01.519
How are they as grandparents?

00:57:01.760 --> 00:57:02.800
Uh awesome.

00:57:03.039 --> 00:57:03.519
Awesome.

00:57:03.840 --> 00:57:04.719
So so awesome.

00:57:05.039 --> 00:57:08.000
Going to boarding schools, there's gotta be a disconnect from your family.

00:57:08.480 --> 00:57:17.440
Look at the reason why Eaton was established in the 1400s was so British aristocrats could go colonize the world.

00:57:17.599 --> 00:57:30.480
And the reason for boarding school was so you take your sons away from their family unit when you go and send them to India to go colonize the world, they're like, Yeah, sure, I'll go to India, right?

00:57:30.559 --> 00:57:31.840
That's part of the design of it.

00:57:32.480 --> 00:57:34.079
Did they try to do that to you?

00:57:34.480 --> 00:57:39.599
Send you to boarding school when my twin and I came along, they're like, Oh, let's see what this whole high school thing's about.

00:57:39.679 --> 00:57:41.280
All the rest of my siblings went to boarding school.

00:57:41.519 --> 00:57:42.000
No way.

00:57:42.079 --> 00:57:45.280
Yeah, so we were the only ones that are you close with all your siblings?

00:57:45.519 --> 00:57:45.840
Yes.

00:57:46.239 --> 00:57:47.280
They weren't pissed.

00:57:47.519 --> 00:57:50.800
Uh no, they're they saw boarding school as an opportunity, right?

00:57:50.960 --> 00:57:53.280
I mean, my if we wanted to go to boarding school, we could have done it.

00:57:53.360 --> 00:57:54.639
But did your mother work?

00:57:54.880 --> 00:58:03.760
She was a real estate agent when all I mean, all six kids were in school and college, and so she was a real estate agent to help pay for family vacations.

00:58:04.239 --> 00:58:06.480
But your dad turned around companies, yeah.

00:58:06.800 --> 00:58:07.840
CEO kind of turnaround.

00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:09.119
Companies we'd hear of.

00:58:09.360 --> 00:58:10.639
Um, John Harlan.

00:58:11.119 --> 00:58:12.559
So it was funny.

00:58:12.719 --> 00:58:22.320
He was in when I was in 11th grade, he had was worked for John Harlan, so a check comp checks, essentially, Harlan checks.

00:58:22.400 --> 00:58:23.840
But they also own Scantron.

00:58:24.239 --> 00:58:24.639
Oh, God.

00:58:24.800 --> 00:58:27.440
And so I was like, hey dad, I got I got SATs tomorrow.

00:58:27.599 --> 00:58:30.159
Can you get me a whole Scantron uniform?

00:58:30.320 --> 00:58:39.039
So I went to my SATs wearing a Scantron hat and a Scantron shirt, and I ended up changing in the bathroom because I almost got jumped by a guy next to the roof.

00:58:39.280 --> 00:58:41.360
But yeah, no, nothing but yeah, that was.

00:58:43.199 --> 00:58:45.840
But he's very, you know, he's the opposite of an entrepreneur, right?

00:58:45.920 --> 00:58:47.760
He he he had six kids, right?

00:58:47.840 --> 00:58:48.079
Right.

00:58:48.159 --> 00:58:54.559
And so he you you rise in the organization and then you get you know to the top.

00:58:54.719 --> 00:58:55.280
Very good.

00:58:55.440 --> 00:58:58.079
Do you think he will do trips like that with his grandkids?

00:58:58.320 --> 00:58:58.960
Not at this point.

00:58:59.039 --> 00:59:00.079
I mean, he's almost 80.

00:59:00.400 --> 00:59:00.719
Oh, yeah.

00:59:01.039 --> 00:59:01.760
Pretty good health.

00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:02.719
Great health, yeah.

00:59:02.960 --> 00:59:03.280
That's great.

00:59:03.360 --> 00:59:04.320
So you got good genes.

00:59:04.480 --> 00:59:04.719
Yeah.

00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:06.639
How did he feel about rehab?

00:59:06.960 --> 00:59:08.239
Did he think you needed it as well?

00:59:08.719 --> 00:59:10.159
I was super ashamed, right?

00:59:10.320 --> 00:59:12.960
Like you spend your whole life trying to impress your parents.

00:59:13.039 --> 00:59:19.039
Or I at that point, I spent most of my time trying to impress my parents and my siblings.

00:59:19.440 --> 00:59:22.800
And part of the issue that I tore down.

00:59:23.039 --> 00:59:28.159
Um, and then you're like, Yeah, I'm going to rehab because I'm drinking way too much beer.

00:59:28.320 --> 00:59:29.840
And it was just beer for you?

00:59:30.079 --> 00:59:31.039
It's yeah, it was just beer.

00:59:31.199 --> 00:59:32.480
Never drank anything other than that.

00:59:32.639 --> 00:59:33.519
Did you have a beer belly?

00:59:33.920 --> 00:59:35.599
No, I I was running marathons.

00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:36.400
God dang.

00:59:36.880 --> 00:59:47.920
But like, you know, deep down I would get that anxiety, and it was just this downward spiral that ended up, you know, manifesting and these nervous breakdowns.

00:59:48.400 --> 00:59:52.079
And at the root of it was a lot of stuff that I had to dissect.

00:59:52.320 --> 01:00:05.760
But the you know, if it was a soup, I say like the the chicken stock was the drinking and the beer that I mean you know, you know you go to the doctor and they're like, How many how many beers do you drink in a week?

01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:07.119
And I would go, right?

01:00:07.199 --> 01:00:10.880
And they're looking at me, I'm a marathoner, and I'm doing the math.

01:00:11.039 --> 01:00:14.880
And you know, at this point my kids are like three and five.

01:00:15.039 --> 01:00:19.519
It's a stressful time, and I'm also in advertising, I'm like a madman, right?

01:00:19.760 --> 01:00:39.760
And so I'm doing the math as I go into that, and I'm like, all right, probably like a six-pack, six to ten beers on a weekday, probably like fifteen beers in the weekend, so that's like one twelve in a week, 112 beers in a week, and then I'll just put six a six-pack.

01:00:39.920 --> 01:00:47.280
And the doctor's kind of looking at me, being like, dude, seriously, like you don't think I can see like your liver, whatever, right?

01:00:47.760 --> 01:00:57.920
And uh, I remember also after my brother went to rehab, I Googled, I was like, if your identical twin is an alcoholic, what are the chances that you're an alcoholic?

01:00:58.000 --> 01:01:03.280
It was like 99% chance, and so I had, but I'm like, oh, I've got the 1%, right?

01:01:03.360 --> 01:01:07.519
And so I went on for that for a little bit, and then I knew I had to.

01:01:07.599 --> 01:01:20.639
I it was presented to me from my twin, like buy yourself an insurance plan, do what basically would take a year of recovery, and just it's gonna be like camp all about you, right?

01:01:20.800 --> 01:01:22.960
I'm like, and that's kind of how he sold me on it.

01:01:23.039 --> 01:01:24.880
And then I get there, I'm like, what the hell?

01:01:25.039 --> 01:01:27.039
I've never cried that much in my life.

01:01:27.199 --> 01:01:30.400
Um, as my family's still on the family vacation in Turks.

01:01:30.719 --> 01:01:31.679
That's crazy.

01:01:31.920 --> 01:01:47.599
But I look back on that as a massively, you know, um catalytic, you know, it's a catalyst for me to really go down to my core, you know, my my metric of success up until that point was like impressing my dad and beating my brothers at the game of life.

01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:54.719
And so I finally was able to throw that out, and where now my metric of success is just impact and being a light.

01:01:55.039 --> 01:01:56.480
But you also did those two other things.

01:01:56.719 --> 01:01:57.599
Yeah, yeah.

01:01:57.760 --> 01:01:58.239
I don't know.

01:01:58.400 --> 01:01:58.880
I don't know.

01:01:59.039 --> 01:02:00.079
I don't know about that.

01:02:00.239 --> 01:02:03.199
Um have you asked your dad any of your tough questions?

01:02:03.360 --> 01:02:04.079
So I tried.

01:02:04.159 --> 01:02:10.800
It was funny, I had a list of questions when I went to Lisbon with him, and some he didn't, he was like, Nope, not answering that.

01:02:11.119 --> 01:02:12.239
What would you say no to?

01:02:12.400 --> 01:02:19.840
Um, I remember it was something around um it was something super personal that he was like, Yeah, I'm not going there.

01:02:19.920 --> 01:02:20.480
I don't know if it's a good one.

01:02:22.320 --> 01:02:23.280
Yeah, yeah.

01:02:23.440 --> 01:02:26.960
And he's a he's incredible with people, right?

01:02:27.119 --> 01:02:33.519
Uh my 15-year-old was asking me, like, what elements do you think you got from your mom and what you you got from your dad?

01:02:33.679 --> 01:02:39.119
My dad can sit with anyone and dive into like what drives him as a human.

01:02:39.360 --> 01:02:39.840
Well, there you go.

01:02:39.920 --> 01:02:40.239
Right, yeah.

01:02:40.320 --> 01:02:42.960
So I'm very much an introvert.

01:02:43.039 --> 01:02:43.280
Yeah.

01:02:43.440 --> 01:02:44.559
Oh, he's very much an introvert.

01:02:44.800 --> 01:02:45.840
He's very much an introvert.

01:02:46.079 --> 01:02:49.920
I I I I can't help but think about when you're talking about your proposal going viral.

01:02:50.400 --> 01:02:54.960
Did anybody from social media platforms uh ever reach out to you?

01:02:55.519 --> 01:02:56.159
They weren't in existence.

01:02:56.559 --> 01:02:57.760
Oh, they weren't it was before YouTube.

01:02:58.079 --> 01:03:12.559
Oh, it was so it's not like Zuckerberg and these guys are like, or even later in life, they because I mean it sounds like you're like No, because that next day, I did that to basically get access to then help build some of the things around face.

01:03:12.880 --> 01:03:24.159
So it was 2006 that Facebook released to the public, and then I we got to work directly with that team as one of the first three advertisers and with Facebook?

01:03:24.400 --> 01:03:28.159
Yeah, that that was kind of the it was all it all happened at that moment.

01:03:28.480 --> 01:03:40.159
Wow, and then that's kind of as I started to do that, um that's where it started to, you know, I became known as like the social media guy in 2006.

01:03:40.480 --> 01:03:41.519
That's crazy, yeah.

01:03:41.679 --> 01:03:46.079
So if people ask me, like, Chris, have you ever hung out with Mark Zuckerberg?

01:03:46.159 --> 01:03:52.320
And we had I dinner with him once and didn't say one word, and that was in 2006, he didn't say one word to me.

01:03:52.960 --> 01:04:12.480
But uh, you know, then a lot of my friends around I I I remember in like uh telling my wife that even my dumb friends were becoming millionaires, like because it was just such a wild time as you know, I knew a lot of the teams at these different, you know, Snapchat and Pinterest and all these different places.

01:04:12.880 --> 01:04:14.239
The Snapchat thing is crazy too.

01:04:14.480 --> 01:04:14.800
It's crazy.

01:04:15.440 --> 01:04:16.480
So my daughter, it was funny.

01:04:16.559 --> 01:04:21.440
So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna speak my 13-year-olds, she won't always talk to me.

01:04:21.679 --> 01:04:24.880
And she was like, Chris, just get on the dad, just get on Snapchat.

01:04:25.039 --> 01:04:38.400
So I got on Snapchat, and she will not when I'm on the road for like three or four days, she won't answer the phone, she won't, and I'm now that I'm on Snapchat, I'm like a month into Snapchat, I'm horrible at it, but that's kind of she'll actually send me a video.

01:04:38.800 --> 01:04:39.920
You gotta be careful on Snap.

01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:42.960
We had we had a little issue with our son when he was 16.

01:04:43.199 --> 01:04:46.079
He was sneaking out of the doggy door and going to girls' houses.

01:04:46.719 --> 01:04:49.280
And uh finally we we compensated his phone.

01:04:49.360 --> 01:04:50.320
He had Snapchat.

01:04:50.400 --> 01:04:54.320
So my wife Blake and I are looking at the Snapchat, like, okay, what is this?

01:04:54.559 --> 01:05:00.559
And like hit a button and sent a selfie of her and I like this to all his friends.

01:05:00.800 --> 01:05:05.519
And then the text messages are like from his friends going, abort, abort, Dr.

01:05:05.840 --> 01:05:08.239
Parrots are on Snap, abort to be here.

01:05:08.480 --> 01:05:09.119
That's awesome.

01:05:09.440 --> 01:05:11.280
It was the biggest backfire of all time.

01:05:11.519 --> 01:05:12.320
That's awesome.

01:05:12.480 --> 01:05:13.119
That's awesome.

01:05:13.280 --> 01:05:15.840
Well, tell I'm I'm glad you came and jumped on my podcast.

01:05:16.239 --> 01:05:16.800
Dude, I appreciate it.

01:05:16.960 --> 01:05:17.519
I think you're awesome.

01:05:17.760 --> 01:05:19.360
It's it's it's so good to be here.

01:05:19.440 --> 01:05:21.599
I'm sorry it took a while to what are you talking about?

01:05:21.679 --> 01:05:23.760
I mean, I just met you like five months ago and I was blown away.

01:05:23.840 --> 01:05:24.719
I think about you all the time.

01:05:24.800 --> 01:05:25.679
It's pretty wild.

01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:34.960
I'm very impressed by the things you do, and it's so much I have to tell you, I'm an introvert and I'm so against the video text, but I feel like you're right.

01:05:35.119 --> 01:05:37.920
So I'm going to try to do it and see if it's like there's a guy.

01:05:38.159 --> 01:05:38.880
Watch what happens.

01:05:39.440 --> 01:05:45.199
There's a guy, and he's a tough dude, and I've only met him a couple times, and I feel like Ian might know him.

01:05:46.159 --> 01:05:56.400
Um but he called me and left me a voicemail message about an interview on the podcast about a having a very famous person on the podcast that he's friends with.

01:05:57.119 --> 01:05:59.760
And he called me like at 8 30 at night and I was asleep.

01:06:00.400 --> 01:06:01.760
I got the message at 3 a.m.

01:06:02.159 --> 01:06:03.519
And I'm like, do I call this guy back?

01:06:03.599 --> 01:06:05.199
I can't call him back at 3 a.m., right?

01:06:05.519 --> 01:06:06.800
So I'm gonna call him later.

01:06:06.960 --> 01:06:10.480
So at 10 15, I called him and got voicemail.

01:06:10.639 --> 01:06:14.079
And I feel like I screwed up the voicemail message because he hasn't returned my message.

01:06:14.159 --> 01:06:14.800
It's been about three weeks.

01:06:14.960 --> 01:06:16.159
Oh, yeah, video text it.

01:06:16.320 --> 01:06:18.239
If I go, hey man, just make sure.

01:06:18.719 --> 01:06:20.559
Watch, I remember I was trying to get a meet.

01:06:20.800 --> 01:06:23.519
This guy just kept pulling the Houdini.

01:06:23.599 --> 01:06:26.480
He wouldn't answer my text, wouldn't answer my emails.

01:06:26.719 --> 01:06:28.639
And I was flying into Austin.

01:06:28.880 --> 01:06:33.599
Um, and I'm like, okay, he had run Gigafun with Elon.

01:06:33.679 --> 01:06:36.960
And you know, he's very tough to get you know, get together with it.

01:06:37.039 --> 01:06:44.960
And so I sent him a video text and I said, Um, Larry, I'm coming to Austin tomorrow and we're going for a walk before my meeting.

01:06:45.039 --> 01:06:45.920
Where should I meet you?

01:06:46.079 --> 01:06:46.880
That's all I said.

01:06:47.039 --> 01:06:51.280
And sure enough, he goes, here's my address on that walk, right?

01:06:51.360 --> 01:06:53.840
I'm like, oh my God, this guy's freaking awesome.

01:06:54.000 --> 01:06:54.880
I love this dude.

01:06:55.039 --> 01:07:00.480
I was like, dude, I've got I've got one open seat to uh trip I'm doing at SurfRench next week.

01:07:00.559 --> 01:07:07.440
And I know you've you're, you know, it's it's a lot of really impressive, you know, a couple celebrities, whatever.

01:07:07.599 --> 01:07:08.719
Uh, why don't you just come?

01:07:08.800 --> 01:07:09.280
You want to come?

01:07:09.360 --> 01:07:10.239
He was like, hell yeah.

01:07:10.320 --> 01:07:15.280
And then that was the first, you know, and that's actually where I met Ian on that same trip.

01:07:15.360 --> 01:07:17.679
Um, and it was like instant connection.

01:07:17.840 --> 01:07:22.960
This Ian guy had I had I not sent the video text, Ian's pretty text as well.

01:07:23.199 --> 01:07:25.519
Ian Ian uh interviewed me on a podcast.

01:07:25.599 --> 01:07:28.239
It was the first time I've ever been on a podcast, and it never dropped.

01:07:28.320 --> 01:07:29.039
He never posted.

01:07:29.280 --> 01:07:30.320
Doesn't that sound like Ian?

01:07:30.480 --> 01:07:31.760
That's so we spent like an hour.

01:07:32.320 --> 01:07:34.480
Wait till you see what Ian has coming up.

01:07:35.679 --> 01:07:38.320
It's uh it's uh it's getting super exciting.

01:07:38.400 --> 01:07:49.199
I will say, you know, Ian and I, I was filtering everyone for you have to so, sir, French, it's 27 hours of bliss, right?

01:07:49.360 --> 01:07:54.960
And and you have to be very careful about the energy you curate, but you also want to meet new people, right?

01:07:55.039 --> 01:08:04.800
And so I reached out to a handful of people that I knew would be the right foundation, but then they would invite friends, but I'd have to interview them at you know before they got the green light.

01:08:04.880 --> 01:08:08.719
And a lot of people got the red light as they talked about like their$30 million houses.

01:08:08.800 --> 01:08:10.159
I'm like, you're out, right?

01:08:10.400 --> 01:08:13.840
But I get on with Ian and I'm like, oh my god, I love this dude.

01:08:13.920 --> 01:08:19.279
And I saw one podcast of him, and the rest was really history from then on.

01:08:19.359 --> 01:08:20.319
Uh, when was that?

01:08:20.479 --> 01:08:22.880
Was less than a year ago, right?

01:08:23.119 --> 01:08:24.720
What podcast were you on?

01:08:25.600 --> 01:08:26.880
No, I had you on mine.

01:08:26.960 --> 01:08:29.279
We did you were on that one where you jumped on.

01:08:30.239 --> 01:08:30.960
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:08:31.039 --> 01:08:31.520
That was good.

01:08:31.680 --> 01:08:33.680
Yeah, but anyway, I've got to do another one with you.

01:08:33.840 --> 01:08:34.720
100% you.

01:08:34.880 --> 01:08:35.039
Yeah.

01:08:35.439 --> 01:08:36.720
One with his new book coming out.

01:08:36.880 --> 01:08:37.199
Oh, yeah.

01:08:37.359 --> 01:08:38.239
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:08:38.399 --> 01:08:39.199
Oh yeah.

01:08:39.680 --> 01:08:41.680
You were showing us the title the cover art yesterday.

01:08:41.920 --> 01:08:44.079
Dude, the best, the bat, that was one of the best things.

01:08:44.399 --> 01:08:49.279
So we get so John Jay, we get back from Surf Ranch, and I'm like, dude, I've written books, like whatever.

01:08:49.359 --> 01:08:50.239
Like, send me your stuff.

01:08:50.319 --> 01:08:54.960
And I read through it, and I'm like, dude, it's freaking this is actually really good, Ian.

01:08:55.840 --> 01:08:58.399
And can I give you a little bit of feedback?

01:08:58.560 --> 01:09:00.319
And he was like, Yeah, absolutely, right?

01:09:00.560 --> 01:09:01.039
Big smile.

01:09:01.199 --> 01:09:05.359
And there's no one better to give feedback than Ian because he actually takes it and he still smiles, right?

01:09:05.680 --> 01:09:07.680
And I was like, Your cover sucks.

01:09:07.920 --> 01:09:16.159
It's it's literally, it looks like uh, you know, something you find on you know a science book or something.

01:09:16.319 --> 01:09:18.079
And he was like, Yeah, you're kind of right.

01:09:18.239 --> 01:09:25.119
And as as we were on a FaceTime or a Zoom or whatever, and I see all the obviously Grateful Dead posters in the back.

01:09:25.279 --> 01:09:31.279
I'm like, dude, the guy, I know the guy that designs all the Grateful Dead and Fish posters.

01:09:31.359 --> 01:09:32.640
Why don't we get him to do it?

01:09:32.800 --> 01:09:34.399
Brian Steeley in Atlanta.

01:09:34.560 --> 01:09:37.199
So he was like, Oh my god, that's perfect, right?

01:09:37.279 --> 01:09:39.680
So I text Steely, I put him in touch with Ian.

01:09:39.920 --> 01:09:43.680
Steele's like, dude, I love spiritual gangster, and yeah, hell yeah, I meant.

01:09:43.840 --> 01:09:45.600
And so that was how the cover evolved.

01:09:46.319 --> 01:09:47.039
What does it drop?

01:09:47.199 --> 01:09:48.560
As Ian would say, of course.

01:09:48.800 --> 01:09:56.079
You know what else I think about with you often, quite frankly, my wife and I go on these long walks all the time, and you pop up in my head because of the owl story.

01:09:56.319 --> 01:09:59.359
Oh, dude, that was a crazy I get goosebumps.

01:09:59.600 --> 01:10:00.399
That's a crazy story, man.

01:10:00.640 --> 01:10:00.960
Crazy.

01:10:01.039 --> 01:10:01.760
It's a crazy story.

01:10:01.920 --> 01:10:02.159
Absolutely.

01:10:02.560 --> 01:10:05.840
An owl crashing through your window or something, and you have that painting of an owl in the back.

01:10:06.239 --> 01:10:09.439
After after we, you know, so we, you know, Blake.

01:10:09.520 --> 01:10:14.479
I met Blake really through Ian's daily meditations that he does.

01:10:14.720 --> 01:10:17.760
Yeah, which is a byproduct of oneness, right?

01:10:17.920 --> 01:10:18.159
Right.

01:10:18.319 --> 01:10:22.960
And and by the way, Mike Posner, the singer who's a good, you know, we we all really bonded.

01:10:24.319 --> 01:10:26.159
And we're so I'm on with him.

01:10:26.239 --> 01:10:26.399
Yeah.

01:10:28.319 --> 01:10:29.039
Right behind me.

01:10:29.279 --> 01:10:31.840
Oh, I thought he came on after, of course.

01:10:32.000 --> 01:10:33.119
No, you were oh wow.

01:10:33.359 --> 01:10:38.800
So Posner Posner and I get a random text from Ian said, Hey guys, uh, join this Zoom.

01:10:39.199 --> 01:10:42.479
He didn't even say it was a meditation, join this Zoom call in 10 minutes.

01:10:42.640 --> 01:10:46.399
And Ian's one of the few people where anything he says it's green light, right?

01:10:46.479 --> 01:10:50.159
I so I show up with Posner and it's meditat this meditation.

01:10:50.319 --> 01:10:52.800
By the way, like I'm not a meditative guy, right?

01:10:52.880 --> 01:10:57.520
I I'm the opposite of meditative, but I've always aspired to do it and I've done calm, nothing's really worked.

01:10:57.680 --> 01:11:00.159
And I was like, holy, this is awesome, right?

01:11:00.319 --> 01:11:08.560
And then, you know, I'm I'm at what three, three to four times, three, three days a week, probably if I'm not traveling, I'm I'm on the Zoom calls.

01:11:08.720 --> 01:11:18.079
But when I went through everything with my dog, and was like, I need you to, I'm gonna put you in touch with one of the most powerful humans ever.

01:11:18.239 --> 01:11:21.680
And it took forever to um to schedule.

01:11:22.079 --> 01:11:24.479
And I I wanted Julie on there too.

01:11:24.720 --> 01:11:28.079
And so um what how how do I pronounce her name?

01:11:28.239 --> 01:11:28.960
Was it she printing?

01:11:29.119 --> 01:11:29.439
Samiji.

01:11:29.680 --> 01:11:30.159
Samajee?

01:11:31.119 --> 01:11:31.520
Oh, she's great.

01:11:32.319 --> 01:11:32.720
She's a monk.

01:11:32.880 --> 01:11:36.880
Yeah, so Samiji gets on and she's so calm.

01:11:37.279 --> 01:11:43.279
And kind of Julie's a little bit awkward because she's like, Chris, like you're really going far off, and we're on with this.

01:11:43.359 --> 01:11:45.600
Um, like what's happening here?

01:11:45.760 --> 01:11:57.199
And then, you know, 15 minutes in, you know, Julie's starting to tear up as we're working through what had just happened with this traumatic experience, two two months after the whole dog thing, losing, you know, running over my dog.

01:11:57.680 --> 01:12:07.680
And so she's talking us through all this stuff, and it comes towards the end after like 50 minutes time starts just like rolling by super quickly.

01:12:07.920 --> 01:12:09.600
And she goes, Do you mind?

01:12:09.840 --> 01:12:11.680
Can we pray together?

01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:14.720
And uh, I was like, Absolutely.

01:12:14.880 --> 01:12:23.920
So we we start praying together when out of nowhere, the loudest hoot you've ever heard, right?

01:12:24.079 --> 01:12:26.720
And by the way, we're in our like family room.

01:12:26.880 --> 01:12:38.880
They the the owl had to come through like all this stuff, and the owl's right there, and she like it interrupts the whole prayer, and she's like, I don't mean to interrupt, but is that an owl?

01:12:39.039 --> 01:12:43.760
And Julia and I are like, Yeah, she was like, Do do owls come by often?

01:12:43.920 --> 01:12:46.880
We're like, no, owls don't come by often.

01:12:47.439 --> 01:12:52.319
And she goes, Well, that's kind of crazy because oneness world leaders, it's it's owl.

01:12:52.479 --> 01:12:53.840
That's our that's our thing.

01:12:54.000 --> 01:12:59.199
And I said, and I started crying, and I'm like, an owl, that's like my spirit animal.

01:12:59.359 --> 01:13:02.560
And when I do our meditations, I do it in front of an eagle owl.

01:13:02.720 --> 01:13:12.880
The eagle owl was a gift from a friend of mine who's now a pretty famous photographer, where I was the catalyst for him to actually pursue photography versus going into insurance sales.

01:13:13.039 --> 01:13:15.760
And he now has, you know,$15,000 to$20,000 prints.

01:13:15.840 --> 01:13:20.000
When we moved into our first house, he goes, Chris, I'm gonna give you the coolest nature print ever.

01:13:20.079 --> 01:13:26.479
It's an eagle owl because you were that eagle owl for me, because you saw something for me that I didn't see in myself.

01:13:26.640 --> 01:13:30.079
And so it's an eagle owl looking out the window.

01:13:30.319 --> 01:13:38.479
And so I'm like, What are the And there's a real owl, and then there's a real owl that comes up as we're praying, and the monk is on the zoom.

01:13:38.800 --> 01:13:43.119
And the monk is on the zoom saying, owl, oneness world leaders.

01:13:43.520 --> 01:13:44.640
It's beautiful, man.

01:13:44.720 --> 01:13:46.000
It's beautiful, it is beautiful.

01:13:46.159 --> 01:13:46.800
Life is beautiful.

01:13:46.960 --> 01:13:47.439
This is beautiful.

01:13:47.920 --> 01:13:49.600
The oneness people are so nice, they're unbelievable.

01:13:50.319 --> 01:13:51.920
I love the ones, it's unbelievable.

01:13:52.159 --> 01:13:57.680
I'm so much better for it, and and I, you know, it's always a work in progress, but it's changed my life.

01:13:57.840 --> 01:13:59.279
Ian's changed my life, right?

01:13:59.439 --> 01:14:00.640
Blake has changed my life.

01:14:00.720 --> 01:14:01.600
It's it's the best.

01:14:01.840 --> 01:14:02.560
You guys are great.

01:14:02.640 --> 01:14:04.560
I'm gonna interview Ian and Blake on a podcast.

01:14:04.720 --> 01:14:05.039
I love it.

01:14:05.199 --> 01:14:06.159
Well, Chris, thanks, brother.

01:14:06.239 --> 01:14:06.640
Thank you, dude.

01:14:12.560 --> 01:14:14.159
Okay, so welcome to our podcast.

01:14:14.399 --> 01:14:20.800
This is a little bit different today because this podcast is a spin-off of our radio show.